To my friends….. this is just a moment of thoughts captured, please do not think you have to fix me
I am living within the confines of a life that is truly not mine. Supposedly I am told it is what I have created but because there are lines around my mind and there is a border patrol of memories and patterns so deeply etched in my canvas called my life, I seem to be able to go no further, to stretch no further. There is burning and longing to stretch my body across the entire universe, to eat it all up and take it all in but I live in a very small corner of the universe that seems to only take in so much and only see so far and only experience a pin drop of what my soul longs for. There is a great wide world out there filled with beauty to see, and people to meet, and food to eat, and songs to sing, and lovers to love, and laughter to be had. I wish my fingers could touch the whole of life, but in my mind I can only see so far and reach so far for I am trapped within the confines of my own thoughts, thoughts of my parents, my ancestors, my environment. Oh how I would like to knock the walls down, bust open the seams, and fly but who am I kidding. I have tried all the years to live the life of my dreams, to experience life fully and extremely and have yet achieved that so I will simple be where I am and peer out the little lens that I have been giving that can dream big, but has yet to live big!